Category: Feature

Building self confidence

Self confidence is a feeling or consciousness of ones power, value and ability to succeed. Self confidence isn’t something you wake up and possess automatically; it has to be built day by day. Below are some of the strategies “secrets” to building your confidence:

Before getting someone to appreciate you and what you stand for, you have to appreciate yourself first. You need to see yourself as confident, wonderful, strong etc and others will see you the same way. You have to be confident in who you are if not it would be difficult for the other person to have confidence in you. To build your own confidence, you have to know your worth and this can be done by recalling your past success, be aware of your unique skills, loving relationships and you’ll be amazed at how much you have going for you and how priceless you are. (Note: do not dwell on your past glory! Just use them as pointers to what you are capable of doing in the future)

Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with people. Make significant improvements be bathing, wearing clean and neatly ironed clothes, smelling nice and dressing responsible and decent. Your appearance is the first impression the other person has of you. Strive to make a positive lasting impression.

One of the greatest ways to get a person to appreciate you and develop confidence in you is through the way you carry yourself. How do you walk? How do you talk? As a matter of fact, one of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about themselves is to examine the way they walk. Is it slow? Tired? Painful? Energetic?. The moment you step into a room, your carriage is what draws the attention to you. By having a good posture, standing straight, keeping your head up, and making a good eye contact, you’ll make a positive confident impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

Most times, when we think negatively about ourselves we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. Refuse to engage in back stabbing gossip and make efforts to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become liked and build self confidence. People who are bitter, jealous, negative and gossip a lot are those who have problems with themselves. Remember, you cannot give out what you don’t have. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

You should try to sit in the front during programs maybe in the school, meeting and public assemblies. Around the world, most people prefer the back seat because they are afraid of being noticed or think that is what make you “cool”(Big boys and big girls). But that is a lie, sitting at the back most time depicts lack of confidence. However, by deciding to sit at the front row, you can get over any irrational fear you feel and build your self confidence.

By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts and recognised as a leader by your peers. The more positive contributions you give, the more rewards, respects and recognition you get.

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WHERE IS RUTH?; the true story of a teenager at large (Part I)

Meet Ruth, a 16 year old girl with a bright and promising future. She has great plans for her life like any other person. She’s the first of four children. Her father is a pastor who also works at a manufacturing company. Her mother is a trader, and due to the nature of her trade, she leaves home very early and comes back pretty late.

Ruth has just completed her secondary school education and is awaiting admission into the university. Being a very determined and hardworking girl, she is using her break wisely. She assists a church member run her little daycare. A very active young girl, she is one of the lead singers in her church. She is loved by everyone and is always ready to assist no matter what.

But, yes, she has her flaws. No one is perfect. Ruth is rather reserved. She doesn’t share a great parent-daughter bond. I guess that is common amongst teens right? She also has mood swings; sometimes she snaps into a very bad and angry mood, even in the church. Its that bad.

On this fateful day, Ruth came to assist in decorating the church as usual. But before they finished, she excused herself saying she was going on an errand. And that was the last we heard from Ruth.

Something went wrong…

Two days later, I heard Ruth ran away from home, leaving a note behind that said she was in search of a “better place”. She had carefully and successfully executed her plan. A plan she must have conceived for a while. Not even her parents or siblings had the slightest idea of what she was up to. And she lived under the same roof with them.

As shocking or silly as it may sound to you, it is a true story. I was devastated when I heard the news. It ruined the rest of my day. I don’t know the full content of the letter but it ended with “in search of a better place”. At her age, what better place could she be searching for? Was she having troubles at home? Or was she not satisfied with the kind of life she lived? Its not like her family is suffering. Her family is comfortable. That much I know. But right now, its obvious I know nothing. Something must have gone wrong. I can’t shake the feeling that something went wrong.

What went wrong? Why did she make such a decision to run away from home? Did she pause to think of how her parents would feel? Did she think of the effect her runaway would have on her siblings? What would people around think about her family? A pastor’s daughter at that. The mentality that pastors should have a perfect home makes it worse. No matter how hard I try, I still can’t feel a pinch of what led to her decision to runaway. I don’t have a clue of what the family is going through now. Not knowing the whereabout of their daughter must be psychologically draining. All efforts to reach her has been in vain.
Its been 3 weeks, four days and Ruth is yet to come back home.

I don’t know the whole picture of the story or what must have led her to leave. Did she make the right decision of running away? Was it problems at home or in the neighbourhood?Could it be the advice of a friend to leave?Would she really get the “better life” she desires?

Kindly share your thoughts.
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